Mr. Santa Claus

c/o UN International Seabed Authority

The North Pole, Arctic Ocean

Re: SANTA CLAUS Trademark and Service Mark

Dear Mr. Claus:

You recently contacted this office to confirm the availability of your proposed “SANTA CLAUS” trademark for use in your business and, if this mark is non-infringing, to assist you in registering it for U.S. and international use. For these purposes you describe your business as “delivering games and toys to good little boys and girls as gifts for Christmas”.

As we counseled you, it is generally useful to offer as broad a description of your goods and services as possible. Therefore, having discussed with you the extensive ancillary activities that accompany your core offering, we propose expanding the description of your services to read, in part, as follows: “The offering, order-taking (including without limitation by lawfully intercepting children’s wish lists, receiving the anguished cries of parents, and deploying Elves and agents at a Bangladeshi call center), packaging and delivery of – leading to the surreptitious return, self-indulgent exchange, wanton destruction, and disappointed-back-of-closet storing of – toys, games, electronics, gifts, and assorted chotchkas.”

Read the full letter on IPWatchdog.com