And finally… sick as a parrot

Indian opium farmers are as sick as a parrot at losing up to 10 per cent of their crop to flocks of feathered addicts which have adapted their behaviour to avoid detection.

Stoned parrots are routinely now falling off their perches after gorging themselves on the pods of opium-yielding poppies.

Farmers were once able to scare off the birds who would noisily announce their arrival by squawking in groups. But the addicted avians have taken to silently swooping to get their fix and now only squawk as they make off in triumph with their booty.

The birds have been filmed returning to their roosts where they gorge on the plants leaving them sleeping for hours – and even falling to their death.

The parrot plague was reported in Rajasthan in 2015, but has now spread to other regions.

Sobharam Rathod, an opium farmer from Neemach, a town in the state of Madhya Pradesh, estimates parrots are stealing around 10 per cent of his crop and he has been given a warning by India’s narcotics regulators who control opium production and expect farmers to deliver pre-agreed quantities for morphine production.

He said: “Usually, the parrots would make sound when in a group, but these birds have become so smart that they don’t make any noise when they swoop on the fields.

“The birds start chirping when they fly away with opium pods. We have tried every trick possible to keep the birds at bay but these addicts keep coming back even at the risk of their life. We keep an eye on them, but they also keep an eye on us. The moment you lower your guard the army of parrots silently swoop on to your field.”

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