And finally

And finally… orange squash

And finally… orange squash

Thieves who packed their cars with four tonnes of stolen oranges were caught by police after they were seen driving suspiciously. Police in Seville, Spain barely had to search the cars, as the oranges started spilling out onto the street — as seen in photos published on Twitter. The oranges were packed into three vehicles […]

And finally… toilet break

A man has successfully overturned a fine for parking on a pavement after explaining he urgently needed to go to the toilet. Michael Nyman, 85, was issued with a £130 fine after parking on a pavement when he found himself in a tight situation in the middle of heavy London traffic. Transport for London (TfL) […]

And finally… farm hand

A pensioner has been banned from every single farm in the UK after he inserted his fist into a cow’s rectum while performing a sex act. John Curno, 80, was found guilty of outraging public decency following a spate of bovine molestations. Uxbridge Magistrates Court heard that Curno was seen a number of times talking […]

And finally… let them eat Nutella

The French government is cracking down on supermarket promotions blamed for the “Nutella riots” that recently made worldwide headlines. Economy Minister Bruno Le Maire, unveiling plans to tighten rules on sales, said: “We can’t have scenes like this every few days in France.” His new law will control aggressive short-term discounts on items. In the […]

And finally… digestives?

Three passengers have been arrested in two airports in just two days on suspicion of smuggling 20 gold biscuits in their rectums. Customs officials at two airports in Assam, in north-east India, said they had recovered a remarkable amount of gold from the passengers. One passenger, bound for New Delhi, was captured carrying six gold […]

And finally… nuts

And finally… nuts

A woman who went to court over damage caused to her car by walnuts falling from her neighbour’s tree has been told to accept the “fact of nature”. The woman claimed around €3,000 worth of damage was caused to her car by falling nuts on a windy day in October 2013. Walnuts — as well […]

And finally… nice to be nice

Mexican drug cartel boss “El Chapo” has promised not to have any jurors from his upcoming trial murdered. He made the assurance in a motion requesting that members of the jury should not be kept anonymous and under police protection. His lawyer, A. Eduardo Balarezo, claimed that the special measures would “create the extremely unfair […]

And finally… judge not

A judge who told jurors that God had revealed to him the defendant wasn’t guilty has been made subject to an official complaint. Judge Jack Robison, of Comal County, Texas, came into the jury room at the conclusion of the trial of a sex trafficker and told jurors that God had told him that the […]

And finally… devil in the detail

A self-proclaimed psychic has been jailed for evading tax on over £2.5 million in payments for performing exorcisms. Sally Ann Johnson, 41, was paid the massive sum over several years by an elderly woman who believed that she was possessed by demons. But US District Judge Denis Casper in Boston said the evidence suggested that […]

And finally… punch drunk

A man has been accused of repeatedly punching himself in the face to avoid taking a breathalyser test. Police discovered Brian Fogg, 27, sitting in a car stuck in a ditch in Belfast, Miami last week, according to WGME-TV. When they tried to test his blood-alcohol level, the cunning Mr Fogg allegedly punched himself in […]