And finally

And finally… czech me out

And finally… czech me out

A group of Czech tourists have been arrested in Kazakhstan for wearing the immodest “mankini” popularised by Sacha Baron Cohen’s fictional Kazakh film character, Borat. Six tourists posed for photos in the swimsuits in the Kazakh capital, Astana, last week. They were arrested and fined 22,500 Tenge (around €60) each for their “indecent” appearance in […]

And finally… childish

A barrister was forced to surrender their child’s marker pens and toy car after court security staff said they were potentially dangerous. The over-zealous security officer at an unspecified court said the barrister “might use the pens for graffiti and the car as a weapon”. The incident, publicised by the Criminal Bar Association in England […]

And finally… Lord Neuberger’s joke

During a witty and insightful speech at the annual WS Society dinner in Edinburgh on Friday night, Lord Neuberger, former president of the UK Supreme Court, told the following joke: An outrageously charging QC, a moderately charging QC and Santa Claus are put in a room with a £50 note on the table. The light is switched […]

And finally… holy smoke

The Pope has banned the sale of cigarettes at the Vatican because it is not “legitimate” to profit from something that harms public health. In a statement, the Vatican said Pope Francis had “decided that the Vatican will cease to sell cigarettes to employees as of 2018”. It added: “Although the cigarettes sold to employees […]

And finally… the onanist defence

A man caught hiding bullets in his home told suspicious gardaí he was out of breath and sweating when they arrived because he had been “having a wank”. Gardaí, who suspected he was attempting to flee or to hide something, said they did not accept his explanation. Glen Synott, 23, later pleaded guilty at Dublin Circuit […]

And finally… trouser snake

Police responding to reports of a fight were stunned when a “significant bulge” in the trousers of one of the feuding pair turned out to be a snake. The drunk 19-year-old was stopped by police following reports he was acting aggressively towards another man in Darmstadt, Hesse. When police searching him noticed the unusual bulge, he admitted […]

And finally… seeing red

A woman stands accused of deliberately running red lights in her ex-partner’s car and hiding the fines to get him in trouble. Roberto Buratto, 62, eventually found out he was being asked to pay €20,000 towards a mix of fines and penalties for late payment. His former partner, Luigina Troglia Gamba, 59, is now on trial […]

And finally… McBonkers

A disgruntled customer pulled a gun on McDonald’s workers after restaurant staff told him they were out of Egg McMuffins. Shocked staff phoned police after two men, in their 20s, seriously overreacted to the shortage of the popular breakfast sandwich. A woman working at the counter said the driver called her a vulgar name before pulling […]

And finally… ruff justice

An accused man’s request for legal assistance was denied because his request to police to “give me a lawyer dog” was deemed ambiguous. Disregarding the colloquial use of “dog”, a judgment from the Louisiana Supreme Court ruled that 24-year-old Warren Demesme’s constitutional right to legal advice had not been denied, with Justice Scott Crichton saying […]

And finally… lot of bull

Two crofters are seeking compensation after one of their Highland cows was allegedly impregnated by a neighbour’s bull. Bernard and Kathleen Allen, from the Isle of Lewis, claim that the Belted Galloway bull was found a number of times on land where there livestock was kept, the BBC reports. The Allens are seeking more than £20,000 […]