And finally

And finally… belt up

Queen Elizabeth has been reported to police by one of her subjects for not wearing a seatbelt. An astute TV viewer called the cops as the Queen travelled in a private car to the State Opening of Parliament. West Yorkshire Police said they received a 999 call during Queen Elizabeth’s journey from Buckingham Palace to […]

And finally… psychologist, heal thyself

A crime psychologist who recently completed a study of email fraud has been tricked out of £18,000 by a gang of computer fraudsters. Professor David Canter’s troubles began when he discovered his email account had been compromised, after friends alerted him to emails purporting to be from him and asking for money. The director of […]

And finally… thick as thieves

Two alleged thieves were quickly caught after they failed to realise their haul of high-tech goodies were cutting-edge GPS trackers. Around $18,000 worth of GPS tracking devices were stolen from Roambee’s Silicon Valley labs, but were recovered within five to six hours after the company equipped police with their tracking software. Roambee co-founder Vidya Subramanian […]

And finally… hard labour

A nurse who was forced to take a professional exam, while in labour, has won the right to retake it. Mar Herraiz, 37, had gone 20 hours without sleep and was close to giving birth when, astonishingly, three members of the exam board for her nursing course turned up, insisting that she take the test […]

And finally… balls up

A man has been awarded a six-figure sum after a surgeon left him with one testicle — the one he was meant to remove. Steven Haines, 54, had been suffering from pain in his testicle for 15 years. In 2013 he approached urologist Dr Spencer Long for help. However, Dr Long removed the wrong testicle […]

And finally… all at sea

A wannabe lawyer who was hauled into court on cannabis charges has been shown mercy by a judge he tried to lecture about the enforceability of British laws. Mark Angell parroted pervasive Internet-based conspiracies that all UK laws are maritime laws which do not apply on land, Devon Live reports. He was jailed at a […]

And finally… tongue tied

And finally… tongue tied

Perth Sheriff Court was forced to delay a case after Crown Office staff admitted they couldn’t understand the accused’s Geordie accent. Denis Boyd, 38, is on trial over allegations that he sexually assaulted a woman in Perth last year. His solicitor, Nicky Brown, told the court that he had taken part in a recorded interview […]

And finally… covfefe kerfuffle

A US politician has introduced a new bill to archive the President’s social media posts – the Communications Over Various Feeds Electronically for Engagement (COVFEFE) Bill. The snarkily-titled bill has been introduced to the House of Representatives by Mike Quigley, Democrat congressman from Illinois. The bill proposes to amend the Presidential Records Act to include […]

And finally… McNumpty

A disgruntled McDonald’s customer called 911 after leaving the restaurant because staff took too long to prepare her chicken nuggets. The bizarre incident went down in a drive-through in Waco, Texas. The woman demanded the nuggets for free in compensation for the delay and came into confrontation with the staff. Employees at the restaurant called […]

And finally… jurors challenged

A trial taking place in one of Glasgow’s newest courtrooms was called to a halt after the jury box collapsed. A sudden creaking noise interrupted proceedings during a rape trial in the £1 million east courtroom in the High Court in Glasgow. The noise was ignored until the back row of the jury box dramatically […]