And finally

And finally… pizza nonsense

Pizza shop sex couple Daniella Hirst and Craig Smith have been slapped with a curfew to prevent them from performing an encore. Images of the pair engaging in sex while waiting for a 12-inch pizza in a Domino’s store went viral after a staff member posted pictures online. An 18-minute clip of CCTV footage was […]

And finally… needled

A man has alleged that he was wrongly sacked by a gay porn company when he refused to continue injecting enhancement drugs into models’ penises after accidentally piercing his thumb with one of the syringes. Ronald Baker is suing the Adult Entertainment Broadcast Network because his wages and benefits were stopped when he refused to […]

And finally… pumped up

A murderer with erectile dysfunction is taking prison governors to court for confiscating his penis pump, the Press and Journal reports. Imran Shahid is serving a jail sentence of at least 25 years after admitting his role in the racist gang murder of a 15-year-old in 2004. Appearing before Peterhead Civil Court yesterday, he told […]

And finally… fin end of the wedge

A man dressed as a shark to promote an electronics store called McShark has been fined for falling foul of Austria’s full-face burqa ban. Police confronted the man after an anonymous tip-off and gave him a €150 fine (£135) when he refused to remove the shark head. PR agency Warda Network later admitted it deliberately […]

And finally… gold rush

More than two dozen people were discovered smuggling gold in their rectums on two flights to India in an operation of unusual size. Over 10 kilograms of the metal was found on 37 passengers across two flights from Sri Lanka to India, with 29 of the smugglers opting to stow their booty in their booties. […]

And finally… crime cafe

And finally… crime cafe

A cafe in Italy could soon see former jailbirds serving judges coffee in a novel effort to give offenders a fresh start. The coffee shop in a Turin courthouse is looking for baristas who have served time in a plan signed off by the city council last week. The cafe serves about 900 court employees […]

And finally… taxing judgment

A man known as “the German James Bond” has been slapped with a two-year suspended sentence for evading over £2 million in tax. Werner Mauss, 77, a former private investigator who has since become infamous for his work with police and intelligence services, was also ordered to donate £178,000 to charity. His supposed record – […]

And finally… screwed

An oil painting by Adolf Hitler has been attacked with a screwdriver during its exhibition in Italy. However, the private collector who owns the untitled work has said he will not press charges against the unnamed 40-year-old attacker. The piece was on display as part of the Museum of Salo’s “Museum of Madness” exhibition, and […]

And finally… pull your socks up

A man who tried to smuggle three snakes across a border in his socks is facing jail for violating wildlife regulations. Chaoyi Le, 28, is facing up to five years in a US prison after he admitted trying to smuggle three western hog-nosed snakes into Canada by concealing them in his socks. He initially claimed […]

And finally… gulag chic

Russia’s prison service has trademarked “Made in Prison”, a label soon to appear on clothes made in the country’s extensive penal system. Russia’s incarceration rate, at 450 per 100,000 members of the population, is the highest in Europe and one of the highest in the world. Human rights groups have repeatedly criticised its penal labour […]